Oh, you know who we’re talking about: the folks who love coffee so much they’ve made their love into something of an annoying art form. Yet it’s subtly annoying: you can’t quite put your finger on why you feel annoyed when they talk about one or more aspects of coffee. But you’re not crazy: they truly are annoying!
We give some examples below.
They sniff – sniff! – when you describe your love of caramel mochas.
It’s a subtle intake of air, but you hear it. You also detect a slight eye roll. You get the feeling they think less of you somehow because you like coffee with some flavor, whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Seriously? Coffee is to be enjoyed, right? And if you like your coffee flavored, drink flavored coffee! There are far more important things to be dismissed over. (Such as announcing you’re giving up Facebook while on Facebook. Puhleeze!)
They correct you – pointedly – when you pronounce the drink “expresso.”
Again with the diss-ing! And in public! Never cool. Someone who pronounces espresso “expresso” should be commended for at least understanding that the drink originated in a country other than the United States and then believing that it’s probably pronounced differently. Saying “expresso” is an acknowledgement that the world doesn’t revolve around America. You should be commended for that, not publicly shamed!
They talk – and talk – about their relationship with their favorite barista.
They tell you all about how Isabella is going to school on an art scholarship (she plans to do art installments). They tell you about how Isabella can see them park their car in the distance and have their Venti soy quadruple shot latte with no foam ready for them as soon as they make it to the counter – they don’t even have to order! They mention Isabella’s detailed knowledge of the Brazilian coffee market.
In reality? Isabella really wants them to be quiet already!
They talk about how fabulous their latest cupping event was.
Go ahead, look it up: you’ll be rolling your eyes, too! (Secretly; no public shaming!)
They discuss – at length – the difference between one over-priced coffee maker and another. In excruciating detail.
It’s as if they have an upcoming mid-term on the topic and have been studying for it for weeks: “It’s made of die-cast aluminum – aerospace-grade! – with a glass tank that an artesian glassblower created by hand, over several days, until it was just right! And its showerhead evenly spreads hot water over your coffee grounds!”
Let’s get real: coffee isn’t the be-all and end-all of life. Great coffee adds meaningful pleasure to one’s existence, but it’s not something to be obsessed over.
Which is why we sell Ubean Coffee: it’s premium, organic coffee (and it’s expensive!) but it’s not something to obsess over. Instead, we want our customers to enjoy our delicious specialty coffee with family and friends. Every day. And if it’s brewed in a Mr. Coffee? Perfect!